But in the last dozen years, as the killings, violence, anger, and polarization has increased, I've felt more conflicted, confused, upset and helpless about it. And even repelled by the idea of going anywhere near there.

I've wanted to experience Israel and all it's history and my history, to get more grounded in the conflict , but didn't want anything to do with the hatred and violence..

I felt scared at the thought of visiting on my own and didn't want to go on a tour that "favored" or was disrespectful of anyone's beliefs or points of view.

As an avowed "peacenik", I'm Pro Israel AND Pro Palestine. I'm very much FOR a peaceful "2 state solution". Quickly.....

When I heard about this Interfaith Journey led by a Rabbi, a Sufi minister and a Christian minister, I was immediately intrigued.

And thought: "This is how I'd love to go!"

Immediately followed by the thought: "It's totally out of the question"--As I have no money in savings, I can't rack up any credit card debt and I didn't know how I'd find excellent, affordable childcare for my 2 little girls. Over the course of 3 months, I collected 6 flyers advertising the trip and had an ardent "wish" to go. In August, I declared my intentions AND: The sun and the moon and the stars and my dearest friends conspired and contributed the money I needed to make my wish come true to help me celebrate my Birthday in a deeply meaningful way.

Well, here I am on the "otherside" of our magical mystery tour and...... What a trip it was!

More of everything than I could've imagined.

What life pulsing up and down each skinny cobble stone street and around every corner!

Although I went with thoughts of going to Israel this once in my life, I already find myself wanting to go back.

I'm quite surprised by my response.

I learned so MUCH history--in all it's complexity. I learned so much about all the religions and their sacred places which as my brother in law put it, "are all within a 9 iron shot of each other (God's sense of humor, he claims)". I got clearer about the many, many, points of views and how they became so entrenched. I observed so MUCH passion, conflict, love, hatred, humanity, compassion, energy, but most important of all: hope and love. All crammed into such a tiny place.

I loved all the olives, hummus, tahini, baba ganoush, tomatoes and cucumbers, gefilte fish, the creamiest cheeses, fresh squeezed pomegranite juice, the best persimmons and avocadoes, dates and figs, oranges, grapefruit, the tastiest falafel, the overflowing lamb and chicken shwarma, baklava, and halavah. I loved the smells of cardamom, cinnamon, mint, and turkish coffee.

So many different people in such a small area: Jewish Israelis, Arab Israelis, Bedouins, Druze, Ethiopians, Palestinians, Yemenites, and visitors from every corner of the earth.

So many walls: Roman walls, Greek Walls, Herod's walls, the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, the Security wall around Bethlehem, and the walls around people's hearts.

I find that I'm now more fully Pro Israel and fully Pro Palestinian. The way I see it, is both sides are absolutely right. And both sides are absolutely wrong. And I now believe that people know that this cannot go on. Peace will find a way. In our life time. It'll be a transformational, world shaking instantaneous event like the Berlin wall coming down and the end of the Soviet Union.

Experiences that were particularly moving and memorable to me were:

Sitting in the (possible) jail cell that Jesus was taken to upon his arrest and experiencing absolute solitude and hopelessness and peace....

Visiting the impressive and gorgeous blue and gold "Dome of the Rock" and sharing the absolute joy and delight our Sufi minister friend Jamal was experiencing when he was able to go inside and pray there.

Going to the moon--like Judean Desert for a midnite hike on a quieter than quiet, starry, starry nite, with a full moon, warm breezes and singing "Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu" and "I'm Alive!" with Yehoshua Rubin. And really experiencing it.

Visiting Masada (http://mosaic.lk.net/g-masada.html) and quietly contemplating the awe-some courage of the 1,000 Jewish zealots who fearlessly fought a hopeless battle fending off 15,000 troops for 5 months and then killed themselves rather than being taken as slaves. Getting the chance to sit inside the empty giant water cistern at Masada that held this most critical life giving resource--and reflect upon on our own lives.

Laughing til I cried and crying til I laughed with all my new wonderful travel friends who became members of a very diverse but absolutely related family.

Cracking up while floating in the Dead Sea, then covering ourselves with the most luxurious mud from head to toe, watching Jeff Shushan do a Cirque Du Soleil like Chicken dance for us, then relaxing in the sulphur springs.... ahhhhhhhhh.

Learning about the Bedouin way of life and then going on an extended camel and donkey ride into the desert---with more non stop laughing. Camels and donkeys are inherently very funny animals and people riding on them is even funnier.

A magical evening singing folk songs with Don MacKenzie outside Roger and Gary's room, constantly expanding our circle as everyone who passed by stopped to join us.

Spending time with the most extraordinarily inspiring: Eliyahu Mclean who is an orthodox Jew from Hawaii--fluent in both Hebrew and Arabic--and has devoted his life to being a peace maker in Jerusalem. If I were 25 years younger and sans kids, I'd move there and join him.

Check out his website: http://www.jerusalempeacemakers.org/eliyahu/home.html.

I have a DVD of some of his work there, featuring his annual "Sulhas": 3 Day Reconciliation Events for people of all faiths that totally rock their worlds and unite them in a vision of Peace and Shalom (peace and wholeness) for all in the land of Israel. So, so, so, so encouraging and so, so, so, so hopeful. Let me know if you'd like a copy of the DVD. I'd love to turn you onto someone who is opening hearts, building momentum, and slowly turning the tides for peace amongst all the people there from both the left and right, Jews and Palestinians alike and everyone in between. I invite you to support him and visit him if you go to Israel or know someone who is going. He is doing amazing work.

Visiting Palestinian held: Bethlehem. It was quite stunning. We had to pass thru the 20' high (or something close to that) security wall to get there. We spent time with "Zougby, Zougby". A friend of Eliyahu's who is working with "Wi'am" The Palestinian Conflict Resolution Center. He's working to train community members on effective conflict mediation and reconciliation techniques, launch these centers throughout the occupied territories, empower women's roles in community building and job creations and so much more: http://www.planet.edu/~alaslah.

Going to the beautiful, mostly orthodox city of Tsfat. Which was one big "photo opportunity". I think we were all awestruck by our chance to meet Rabbi Ted's formerly secular nephew who is now an ultra orthodox Jew living in Tsfat with his wife and 3 children. His devotion to a life of prayer and teaching and the ecstasy that he exuded about his pursuit came shining through.

The soothing, rejuvenating walk thru the lush and water rushing, Tel Dan Nature preserve. It's way up North and looks out at Lebanon and Mt Hermon--where it snows for a few weeks of the winter and my brother Robert was a ski patrolman.

And of course singing and chanting everywhere. I love living my life in a musical! Singing on the bus, singing at the ruins, singing on the streets: in Hebrew, in English, and in Arabic. Jewish prayers and songs, Sufi chants and prayers and Christian prayers and songs.

All Religions,
All this Singing,
One Song.
Rumi

Looking back: What a place to launch my next 50 years on Earth! I LOVED IT.

Thank you to all of you with all my heart for supporting me in celebrating this auspicious benchmark.

I rediscovered my relatedness to all "of us" and was filled up with hope.

I rediscovered who I was and how I want to live and be for the rest of my life: ALIVE, related, in touch, with an open heart, laughing, crying, grateful, blessed, to love and be loved, connected and LIVING LIFE OUT LOUD.

Thank you my dear, dear friends and family. I hug you with all my heart.

Love,
Susie Cantor